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Toy-let Box

Don’t toss out that old toilet seat, turn it into a toy box! With a few simple supplies, you’ll have a nearly new toy box that the kids will love! This project can be made with any box you have around the house and it’s also great to take on those long road trips when you can’t find a rest stop.

Supplies:

  • toilet seat
  • toys
  • box
  • industrial strength glue
  • chainsaw

Step 1: Using the chainsaw, carefully remove the toilet seat from its base.

Step 2: Clean the toilet seat with a mixture of formaldehyde and iodine spread evenly onto a catcher’s mitt. Allow the mixture to set for a few moments, then gently lick it off.

Step 3: Glue the seat to a box and let the kids stuff with their favorite toys!

Note: This is an April Fool’s Day joke. My daughters came home from school today and the younger one cried because she thought I had made a real toy box, despite the fact that I said it was for April Fool’s Day. Then my older daughter sat right down on it, laughed and said “It’s a toy-let box”. Why didn’t I think of that? She’s a clever girl.

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Husband Cozy

husband-cozy

Tired of your husband sitting around gathering dust? Make a cozy for him! This is a great project to use up those fabric scraps and try your hand at patchwork.

Supplies:

  • Spouse (husband, significant other, girlfriend, partner)
  • Crazy glue
  • Extra sharp scissors
  • Chewing gum

To get the head measurements just right, have your spouse lie down directly on the fabric while you cut around his head with a pair of large, sharp scissors. Careful around the ears! Next, keeping the spouse’s head inside the fabric, take it to your sewing machine and sew around the head for a snug fit.  Cut any loose hairs that peek through the seam.

And finally, put your new cozy on display!  You can put him on the shelf or have him out for the kids to view. This would also make a fun papier-mâché project; just be sure to add air holes.

Happy April Fool’s Day! No husbands were harmed in the making of this cozy.

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Make a String Bikini for Barbie!

barbie-bikini

Are you tired of your modest Barbie?  Never lying around the house naked or wearing provocative, cheaply made clothing?  Make her a skimpy string bikini — the kids will love it!  Maybe she can even earn some extra cash.  And if your young children aren’t already insecure about living up to Barbie’s ludicrous standard of beauty, they can still look forward to feelings of inadequacy in their teenage years!  Hurray!

Supplies:

-string

-heavy duty staple gun

-methamphetamines

Step 1: Staple string to Barbie’s back, using 100 or more staples.  Careful, she’s a slippery gal!

Step 2: Take methamphetamines and watch HGTV.

All done!