Tutorial: How to Make Perfectly White Eggs

Happy-April-Fool's-Day!

Ahem, updated note: This post was written on April 1st.

Although it’s a day after Easter, today I’ll show you how to achieve perfectly white eggs. Of course, your eggs may not look as good as mine, but you can still give it a try.

First, gather eggs from your chickens, boil and cool them (not the chickens, just the eggs). Then wrap one egg in aluminum foil. Use firm pressure as you wrap, sealing any cracks with duct tape, which can be painted in a later step.

egg-in-aluminum-foil

Next, fill a measuring cup with gin, toss in the foil-covered egg and let it soak for several hours.

egg-in-vodka

Finally, remove the egg from the gin, peel off the aluminum foil, and drain the measuring cup. The egg-infused gin makes a great martini, perfect for Monday mornings! To make the egg shine, polish it with a homemade chamois cloth moistened with rabbit saliva. If you’d like to achieve various shades of white, such as parchment, snow, or cotton, add dryer lint accordingly. Paint the egg white if needed.

Keep eggs away from pets and children. 

16 comments to Tutorial: How to Make Perfectly White Eggs

  • pneu

    This isn’t much of a tutorial–for example, how do I remove the foil-covered egg from the gin? Would chopsticks be okay? I wish your pictures showed more of the steps.
    Also, what substitutes would you recommend for the gin? I have fish sauce or pumpkin-infused vodka, but I’m not sure if they’ll work.
    Please reply ASAP.

  • Bwahahaha. Waste of good gin!

  • elsa

    Rabbit saliva? really? tee hee

  • Love it! I agree, the rabbit saliva was the high point. :)

  • u r so funny and i love your egg photo…so pretty

  • Is imported rabbit saliva OK? I don’t cotton on to the local stuff – I much prefer imported :)

  • Susaninfrance

    you got me at the rabbit saliva! can you imagine collecting it?? very funny!! I thought about the wasted gin too. very funny.

  • I bet pintrest is going crazy over this! :)

  • Interesting…
    I have tried rabbit saliva in the past but found koala wee to be so much more effective. I could imagine it is a little difficult to source outside Australia, but well worth the effort.

  • Ha ha! Forget about the eggs, I’d just stick at drinking the gin!!!

    Made me chuckle: Thanks!

  • kity

    No need to soak the eggs: just drink the gin and every egg you see will be white!!

  • HA! My first thought was “why do you want super white eggs?” Then my next was to start laughing like a hyena when i read rabbit saliva! HA!

  • Molly K.

    Bawwww hawww hawww LOL, LoL! OMGawd you had me goin for a little time! Totally busted my yolk (all puns intended) just reading the part about ” course it probably won’t look as good as mine….” I was like WOW! This Girl is full of herself! Then I just couldn’t understand the Gin part! LoL you have such a great humor! Thanks for the laugh! I honestly don’t even know how I found this either! Too funny tho…thx a gain for the good humor! I don’t even sew (just a small time paper crafter just tryin’ to make my way through all of this beautiful talent on the net) but I’m joining your blog just for that great post! Very Sincerly Molly from Oregon! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

  • Collette

    My husband was looking over my shoulder–what does that do? Um, make really white eggs I guess. Huh.

    Yeah, we’re suckers. I blame the fact that we read it on April 2nd. Yeah, that’s it. ;-)

  • I’m a little late but just had to drop by and say how hilarious this is!! So fun.

  • Well, you had me going there too!
    Great post!!

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