Ahem, updated note: This post was written on April 1st.
Although it’s a day after Easter, today I’ll show you how to achieve perfectly white eggs. Of course, your eggs may not look as good as mine, but you can still give it a try.
First, gather eggs from your chickens, boil and cool them (not the chickens, just the eggs). Then wrap one egg in aluminum foil. Use firm pressure as you wrap, sealing any cracks with duct tape, which can be painted in a later step.
Next, fill a measuring cup with gin, toss in the foil-covered egg and let it soak for several hours.
Finally, remove the egg from the gin, peel off the aluminum foil, and drain the measuring cup. The egg-infused gin makes a great martini, perfect for Monday mornings! To make the egg shine, polish it with a homemade chamois cloth moistened with rabbit saliva. If you’d like to achieve various shades of white, such as parchment, snow, or cotton, add dryer lint accordingly. Paint the egg white if needed.
Keep eggs away from pets and children.